Sunday, March 29, 2009
Ok i hate to admit tat bt act im touched wif wat u sae..
Thanks~
....Unspoken words....
I realize tat i miss my family a lot.
Missing the days we go out for dinner every weekends.
Missing the days we go for a walk after dinner.
Missing the days we go out for dinner even when we have exams.
Slowly it get lesser n lesser.
Slowly i dont remember when is the last time we had a dinner together.
1mth?2mth?or even 6mths? ago..
I miss my secondary school friends.
Red Cross.
The times we played together.
The times i enjoyed playing.
Even if its been 1yr i lost contact to them..
They made an effort to celebrate my birthade the nxt yr.
n wat hav i done?
I miss my poly frenz.
The days we hang out in sch.
The days we go out together.
I miss ppl in osch.
The few of u.
The days we spent dancing.
The days we go out together.
Life is jus full of uncertainity~
Surrounded by faked mask all over.
Its all the past.
N its pointless to hold on.
All i can sae is i suddenly miss u guys alot..
BUT tat doesn't mean i dont miss u guys in the past.
In the silent of the night where im alone,
I like to think.
Deep in thoughts~
I miss u...
n jus after i publish tis post..
Ur msg came straight away..
It gave me a shock..
Bt act i hav been waitin for it.
Thanks~
Alone i stand
12:43 AM
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Well... wat r memories? wat r frenz? wat is love?
Guess i dont feel like havin any nw le ba...especially memories~
Only bringin pain n nth else.. Somethin tat is short, enjoyin when its happenening n suddenly everythin changes in 5 mins..
Presence or nt? it doesnt make a diff to other ppl too..
Maybe its gd to be gone for 6 mths too ba..For me to be free frm everything.
Its all juz one-sided so y nt juz let it go..Everythin is nt confirmed yet bt half of me wish to in n half wish to be out..
Everythin ard me turns still...silent is the word..where many meanings can be found.Alone i walked, its time to let go bt its hard..always saein tis to my ownself.wat's the point?
I juz wan to be alone..Dont wish to tok, don't wish to go tere at night anymore..where all my 1 yrs was spent tere..Not wishin to c anyone tere anymore..Im tired~..I dont wan anything, I juz wan forget everythin..where memories dont stay anymore.
Silent....
I'm too tired to tok anymore..It's hard to communication wif ppl.Its hard to understand them.It's hard to please them..I don't noe wat to do anymore. I noe i'm borin cose i dont noe wat to tok either. Juz leave if u guys tink im borin~
Anyway thanz to the 2 of u today..For bringin me ard n the treat.thanz lots~
Alone i stand
12:20 AM
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Taxi driver is a killer~ Everyone beware!! haha...ok..was act veri F up when she told me wat happened..hope she will be ok..Tink nowdays many things r happening...Be it happy or unhappy..Everyone take care ~
Alone i stand
1:23 AM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
ok tis new job is really killing me even thot its juz a short 1 wk.I quite regret thou cose its the most stressful n tired job ever.. n my eyes r nt ok yet since last wk..omg.I'm so tired.n everythin surrounding me, plz let me go..
I miss u..
Tinkin of u..
Sometimes it makes me feel beta,
bt sometimes it hurts..
Alone i stand
11:52 PM
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I wan earn hard, i wan earn more , I wan a bike nw~
Today off n went to osch to help out at the booth ba..bit boring thou bt at least can help her im glad..When session after tat n it was really veri tiring..ha~
Ok i tired nw..gtg..
ok juz dont understand y they juz cant get it..wtf lor..as if i dare to go buy w/o their persmission.they sound as if they give me a chance to buy n nw they crashed all my hope..i noe they tink its for my own gd bt y juz they understand too..noe wat..ever since they give me my freedom, i was veri happy n still i respect wat they sae n listen to it..n im sometimes glad i gt no family commitment ba..it has been long since we went out for dinner or something..cose everyone is nw busy wif their own stuff..sometime i juz dont wish to hm early too cose i will juz face the comp straight ba..bt when i heard someone saein they goin for family dinner or somethin..i miss it too..bt ok i juz love the way we r nt..lets juz nt change it ba cose i rather wan it be tis way then..sometimes im juz so lazy to tok to them.. Ok my family is all those independent type..unless we tell one another, we wont noe wat r we doin ba..n ok act i really dont understand them at all..wat they r doin outside n so..ok sae so much also cause of the bike thing..shld i juz go ahead wif it?
Im juz gettin more n more tired..i dont wish to tok anything, i dont wish to care anymore..I juz wan be alone..I dont wish to tink anymore cose i too tired..too tired to carry on..
Even if i wan care...i wan it frm u bt i noe their wont..
Alone i stand
1:20 AM
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Well..juz 1 whole dae today..everythin came crashin dwn on me..felt veri stress over it ba...work, hw, batam n bla bla..
Ok juz gt a short assign tat will ends tis mth n i hv signed the contract cose pay veri gd ba.haha..n its also a veri sudden one suddenly lor..n so i nd to settle things at my old workplace too cose they nt enough ppl n i wan to off cose of batam stuff..really veri stress n tired today..
So frm today onwards, i will be damn damn busy..hai.
Mon to fri : Work frm 8.30am to 6pm
Mon, Tue , Wed, Fri : Dance at 7pm
Thu: FREE :D
Sat n sun: work 8am to 4.30pm or 9-10pm
N plus those suddenly last min stuff like interview n so..n april is another busy dae for me lor..hai..really scared ltr toushou will feel like wth keep off here n tere..i feel bad too bt yet i wanted to do tis n tat..hai~I'm sry...really i am..cose all i can sae is i really love tis job~ I hav been tere for 2 yrs le ba n it's also my longest job...n yet i love hangin out frenz too n i wan to be free.Hw i wish i can juz be alone wif nth to care.Work work work all dae till the dae i drop..ha
Anyway gt to settle abit of stuff althot act nt confrim..ownself delcare de..ha i can off on sat :)
N lastly...I so happy i can help u :) c-ing the difference in ur msg put a smile on my face after a long dae..when i sae i cant n after i sae i can..thanz.. n juz hope tat to those tat i care out tere especially the 2, i will help u as long as u wan me to..juz like an angel silently stayin by ur side...always be tere for u..
Alone i stand
9:07 AM
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Well today is my offical 1 yr learnin dance..haha..well yet no improvement make me feel sad ba..erm..nt daring enough n ok i gt takin video phobia~ I tends to go blank when tere's a camera tere..hai~ n i gt poor memory.Zzz..
Anyway, today was a tiring dae for me ba..practice dance frm 3.30 till 6 n after tat gt dance class at 7pm..omy..really nv practice till so tired before..tomolo gt waackin..my love~veri looking forward to it.
ok fri i wan jyjy!!
Somethin to share~
wat do u tink of tis pic?erm..
Alone i stand
10:44 PM
Well..it shld be a happy day for me..bt nt nw..I juz wish to be alone~
I thot he allows bt in the end he dont.I will juz save money n buy 1 for my ownself!
Alone i stand
1:24 AM
Friday, March 13, 2009
Well..finally tere's 1 fri i free ba n gt to go out wif frenz..ha cose most of the time havin class..so went to watch movie at ps in eveing..Its act quite a funny story n at the end its quite touchin..ha..Act wanted watch 'coming soon' bt in the end nv.. :( Bt this shw is nice too..
Alone i stand
10:00 AM
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Finally the gradshow is over le ba~ Climbing the steps is veri veri tiring n standing for the 2 whole daes is veri veri sian.Haha..
Yster there were more ppl compared to today ba cose there were screenin n also VIPs.. N today mostly is juz frenz ba.so yster was more formal also n today everyone juz keep slackin ard.We r all juz too tired partly thanks to the steps.Ha juz for 1 dae yster, I hav walked up n dwn 7 times in total.ha.Fredy, Xuehui, XiaoHei, Jasmine came ba n im act veri grateful tat they came even thot they r so busy. N im quite sry too cose some of them dont really understand wat isit all abt. When my classmate saw them, most of them already guess is my dance frenz liao..haha
Then today Jasmine brought ShiHua to the gallery too. Ha thank thank~
N also those who came make it yster n today thanz alot too..Im grateful tat u guys also did make an effort to try come thot..Thanks :)
So durin the time at gallery we spent most of the time eating, taking photos n playin other people's work~ haha..
Sinema Old School~
My 'booth'
'Distraction' in the office near us..ha
The toilet is very veri small..ha
One of my lecturer's son..he sooo cute :)
Alone i stand
9:58 AM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
well today went to prepare for the gradshw thin ba.. n i finally went tere for the first time..n seriously the stairs was so omg~ haha.. ok i tink things r beta nw..n well those whom i hope will go did agree to go ba...thanz alot :) bt when i c the place its act damn small lor..Zzz...also nth much to c n also nth much to display..erm...
O n today the sexy diamond cap came today~ act wanted to get it for someone bt in the end nv..bt anyway i c le n act its nicer then i expected...can't wait for june to come..ha i already make a long list of wat i wan to buy...n of cose nt excluding sexy diamond n stay real~ hehe :)
Anyway esther u r here!!! ha act quite surprised to c u here n anyway miss u..ha~ i dont often sae tat de ok..tink i too high nw..Anyway when we meetin again~ ha...
Sexy Diamond cap :)
Alone i stand
1:51 AM
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hw i regret saein abt the grad shw..its juz so messy juz cose tere is 2 parts - screening n gallery..
Screening : It starts at 5.30pm on tue n ends ard 7.30pm. N i hav 3 tickets for it.
Gallery: It is open to public frm 12pm till 9pm on tue n wed.
I told ppl abt it n they gt all mess up n no matter hw much i keep saein they juz dont gt it.
who wan to c, who goin or when goin or wan pei who or something~ I noe ppl wan to support me n im grateful for tat bt act frm the start i dont wish to tell anyone abt it cose i feel tat my work gt nth to c.or shld sae i hav no faith in my workpiece n its truth cose im a total slacker in sch for past 3yrs..ha.~.then nw like everyone keep asking one another when u goin ah or so n so..then keep changing their minds of the time to go..makes me feel i hav make u guys so troubled n irritated over it ba..hai~ wondering wat all of u r tinkin nw..
ok im so sry to sae all those..juz suddenly bit pc cose of some things~Anyway thanz in advance to those who will be comin~Im grateful..u noe who u r..
hw i juz wish no one noes~ n at the same time wish u guys come to support me..hai~
Alone i stand
8:19 AM
Friday, March 6, 2009
I came upon a job interview for dance.... Wondering shld i go or nt for the audition.. I noe tat i won't get in bt i feel like tryin cose who noes...ha at least i hav tried.. bt the prob is im afraid..havin to do it alone n its 1min audition.nt noeing wat their requirements really r n also the age n height..omg~.I dont noe anything at all..juz tat i nd prepare a 1min dance. I'm afraid i dont hav the courage to do it.. N its tis sun..dont noe if i hav the time to practice or to tink of the dance or juz freestyle 1 min..haha
Shld i go or nt?.....erm....im wondering
Alone i stand
7:53 AM
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Jus wondering hw weird some things can be..hw ppl look at some stuffs n so...
Sometimes i juz wish i hav nv noe u guys n yet sometimes hw i wish i can get to noe all of u veri well.. jus hw i wish...
Alone i stand
8:33 AM
Monday, March 2, 2009
Suddenly tokin abt tat topic makes me tink all the way till i gt hm ba...tinkin hw im so used to being alone wherever i go watever i do... so used to it tat im nt afraid of anything anywhere.. I love havin frenz company bt sometimes they wont be ard...
So used to it tat sometimes i juz love being alone..doing my own things or u can sae juz living in my own world..ha..i remembered hw i went to korea wif my family when im young n wander away by myself n my mum scolded me for tat..haha bt tat cose im young..Then when i gt older n went malayisa wif my family..i wandered by myself in the shopping centre being bored cose they spent veri long in juz 1 shop ba..ha..
Goin to batam at end of tis mth...i remembered 1 photo of a small boy taken by one of my sch mate..the smile on tat child's face in a poor place cld be so warmin...making me feel like buyin a camera nw n go tere to take myself...juz hope tat those children will be happy.. :)
Anyway jasmine really dont wry..im really nt afraid of anythin even overseas.. bt thanx for ur concern ba :)
Love frenzs company bt sometimes its nt up to u to choose n so slowly i dont hope for much...i dont noe hw to express myself or even communicate to ppl ba..so most of the time i juz keep to myself..cose i also dont noe wat to sae or hw to sae ba...
bt hw i long for....Anwway here's BABY RYAN :) Arn't he cute :)
Mother n son :)
Alone i stand
12:20 AM
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Mornin went expo ba n we went wrong hall..haha opps cose i hav forgetten tat they hav changed places..Saw 1 of my cousin tere too n sit quite near to him..so qiao n he saw me too ba..ha..after the thin jiu went straight to my aunty house n so saw him tere again..tink he or his sis gt told their mum abt it so her mum asked me abt it too..erm...
Well today gt to off cose afternoon gt to go my aunt hm lor...the baby boy is so cute lor..OMG~ haha i love his hair alot.so style.haha.will post up his photo soon..Anyway his name is RYAN LIM JUN LONG :) he is veri guai~
After tat went to SMU session wif my cousins for the first time..n act on the way tere im veri tired liao..Been long since i take train goin dwn direction at 7+pm when most ppl is goin hm n the train is quite empty while i gt to sit...Jus a while till 10+pm we jiu go hm le ba cose everyone is tired...
After tat went to JE n guess wat..i finally gt to drive my dad's van..ha n it is beta then i thot thou bt still i prefer driving car..
Erm ok dunno y bt juz feelin low nw..tinkin of many things.. How? Why? Where? When? What?
I hav used up the 5 Ws n 1 H..haha tat's lame..
Sometimes i juz feel like being alone so i wont get to tink too much n hope so much..hopin tat u will care for me bt i wont it wont happen...
I miss u so much n hw i wish i cld juz be by ur side always..noe u more, be tere when u nd help n be by ur side whenever u wan someone tere.. n also wishin u will be tere for me always...silently i can only keep all tis in me..bt act hw i wish u will noe too..Act i noe those who gt read my blog although only bit..ha will be tinkin who tat person is..guess u guys wont noe who tat person is at all also...it will be my hidden secert ba cose i so sad abt it.Jus hope i will get over it soon.haha
Alone i stand
1:39 AM
